Oh I Wanna Dance With Somebody!

Not a New Yorker, but I just assume that the NY Post is New York's USA Today or a National Enquirer with more news, less gossip [or the right amount], all razzle dazzle, snap, crackle, and pop; Large print, crazy photographs, headlines and covers so large they nearly smack you in the face and ask who's your daddy. Take today's cover story which manages to combine two totally different social and newsworthy phenomenons and make them one:



Go further inside the mag(?)[newspaper ?] and you're hit with this:

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States - the world's most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he's even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.
Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden's sex slave, writes in her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, which is excerpted in the September Harper's: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

Boof - who wrote for the soap opera "The Days of Our Lives" until she was axed last month - continues, "He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting."

Boof says bin Laden couldn't stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

But bin Laden's murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar.

"[He would say] how beautiful she is," Boof claims, "what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.


I wish I was making this up. I truly have no witty banter or hard hitting commentary for this one. I'll just let the words speak for themselves. Yeah I don't even know where to begin or how to touch this one. Kudos NY Post. I'm totally flabbergasted.