Monday, November 20, 2017

for your consideration.

FILE UNDER: a moment of clarity.

words.

"We hear a lot about the Big Three Sexualities — straight, bisexual and gay. Most of us assume that these three orientations encompass the universe of sexual identities. But there is a new kid on the block: The mostly straight male.

To the uninitiated, mostly straight may seem paradoxical. How can a man be mostly heterosexual? If you’re a young man, you might assume that either you’re straight or you’re not, meaning you’re likely gay and maybe bisexual. Yet the evidence suggests that more young men identify or describe themselves as mostly straight than identify as either bisexual or gay combined.

...The mostly straight man belongs to a growing trend of young men who are secure in their heterosexuality yet remain aware of their potential to experience far more. Perhaps he’s felt attracted to or fantasized about another guy to a slight degree or intermittently. He might or might not be comfortable with this seeming contradiction, a hetero guy who, despite his lust for women, rejects a straight label, a sexual category and a sexual description that feels foreign. He’d rather find another place on the sexual/romantic continuum, some location that fits him more comfortably.

He knows he’s not gay, but straight with a dash of gayness. But how much gayness? Not much — a relatively small percentage, say around 5% to 10%, of his sexual and romantic feelings. Strict rules don’t apply. These attractions are sexual, romantic or both and can be expressed in various ways, from erotic fantasies to actual behavior. Perhaps he’s made out or he wants to make out with a guy friend. He’s participated in all-male group masturbation or is willing to receive oral sex from an attractive guy he’s just met. But it’s unlikely that he has had penetrative sex with a guy, though he might be willing to if the right guy or circumstance appeared. He might have had an intense guy crush. But to fall passionately in love with a guy is too much, though he might have quite strong feelings and cuddle with a best friend.

He feels his same-sex sexuality internally more than he lives it externally. Perhaps if his culture were not so stigmatizing of same-sex sexuality he might be more inclined to express himself through tangible expressions of sex or romance — not frequently but occasionally.

He’s not transitioning toward identifying as bisexual or gay. He’s not a closeted gay man who fears being gay yet wants to keep a slight, perhaps secretive, gay side by dangling his potential for guy sex. He’s not saying, “I’m available for guys who want to have sex with a straight guy” while enjoying the privileges afforded to heterosexual men in our society. He’s not an equal opportunity bisexual in disguise trying to hold out hope for straightness, nor is he afraid to identify as bisexual because of societal stigma and prejudice. He is not a disgruntled straight man tired of sex with women, nor is he necessarily unhappy or frustrated with the availability of heterosexual sex. He may retreat from a full identification with heterosexuality, but rarely does he gravitate toward bisexuality, and almost never does he move toward homosexuality of any sort. Thus, he is a closer cousin to straight guys than to traditional bisexual guys.

...How do these values and practices play out in the future? Well, if we are prepared to accept mostly straight as a fourth sexual identity, we gain an increasingly nuanced understanding of sexual orientation — and its close cousin, romantic orientation. We won’t stop at four; no doubt we will soon recognize additional sexual identities — which might be yours."

TIME: Why ‘Mostly Straight’ Men Are a Distinct Sexual Identity

Sunday, November 19, 2017

slow jamz.

de-von-tré.

come back, barack.



a mood.

moses sumney.

quarrel.



Saturday, November 18, 2017

4AM.

a video.

from 2 chainz & travis scott.


pills.

introducing:

pervatol: a drug to help sexual predators sleep at night.

(from late night with seth meyers)







Friday, November 17, 2017

the game.

a moment of clarity.

with the rundown & robin thede. 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

wake me up.

a video.

starring remy ma & lil kim.


higher.

a video.

starring emeli sande and giggs.


Tuesday, November 14, 2017

kill4me.

a video.

from marilyn manson & johnny depp.


Sunday, November 12, 2017

a mood.

shelby lynne & allison moorer.

is it too much.


Friday, November 10, 2017

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

juice.

a video.

starring chromeo.


Tuesday, November 07, 2017

taste.

a video.

from rhye.


smooth criminal.

over/under.

with pitchfork & michael mcdonald.


Sunday, November 05, 2017

mustn't hurry.

a video.

from fever ray.

told you so.

a video.

starring miguel.

took us a break.

a video.

starring lil kim.


Friday, November 03, 2017

Thursday, November 02, 2017

wolfbite.

starring bat fangs.


coming attractions.

with chromeo.




PITCHFORK: Chromeo Announce New Album Head Over Heels

in the south.

a video.

featuring big boi, pimp c, and gucci mane. 


lemon.

a video.

featuring  n*e*r*d & rihanna.




post requisite.


a video.

from flying lotus.

a moment of clarity.

with amber ruffin & late night with seth meyers.


Friday, October 27, 2017

a mood.

fever ray.

wanna sip.


Saturday, October 14, 2017

a mood.

FILE UNDER: saturdays.

war.

the cisco kid.


plans.


power.

FILE UNDER: AMERICA/a moment of clarity.




Thursday, October 12, 2017

Saturday, October 07, 2017

a moment of clarity.

with russell brand & real time with bill maher.


Tuesday, October 03, 2017

time to live.

a video.

from ariel pink.


joli mai.

starring daphni.



PITCHFORK: Caribou Announces New Daphni Album, Shares New Song


los ageless.

a video.

starring st. vincent.


little of your love.

a video.

starring haim.


Saturday, September 30, 2017

love galore.



a playlist.

1/demi lovato/sorry not sorry

2/borns/sweet dreams

3/photay & madison mcferrin/outre lux

4/sza & travis scott/love galore

5/japanese breakfast/machinist

6/j balvin, willy william, & beyonce/mi gente (remix)

7/warpaint/whiteout

8/ariel pink/death patrol

9/cut copy/standing in the middle of the field

10/lcd soundsystem/oh baby

11/cardi b/bodak yellow

12/drake, black coffee, & jorja smith/get it together

13/broken social scene/hug of thunder

14/amber coffman/miss you

15/frankie rose/decontrol

stream here.


Thursday, September 28, 2017

just a thought.

with seth meyers.


sports.

a moment of clarity.

with full frontal with samantha bee.


p.r.

a moment of clarity.

with seth meyers.


bitter tea.

a moment of clarity.

with amber ruffin & the late night with seth meyers.



SPLITSIDER: Amber Ruffin Warns Donald Trump: “You Cannot Win a Twitter War Against Black People”

Saturday, September 23, 2017

a moment of clarity.

jhene aiko.

new balance.


it's a vibe.

jhene aiko.

twenty88.

olla (only lovers left alive).


tied to the weather.

starring cut copy.


it's a vibe.

cut copy.

standing in the middle of the field.



Monday, September 18, 2017

the gate.

a video.

starring bjork.

too good at goodbyes.

a video.

starring sam smith. 

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Thursday, September 14, 2017

mood.

band of horses.

hold on gimme a sec.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

Thursday, September 07, 2017

hey hey hey!

a moment of clarity.

featuring seth meyers, hilary clinton, & bernie sanders.


selfish love.

a video.

starring jessie ware.


the chief.

jidenna.

npr.

a tiny desk concert.


humble pie.

a video.

starring musiq soulchild.


the line.

starring foo fighters.



ROLLING STONE: Hear Foo Fighters' Urgent New Song 'The Line'

Sunday, September 03, 2017

new york.

a video,

starring st. vincent.


Saturday, September 02, 2017

it's a vibe.

warpaint.

go in.




-INTERLUDE-

suicide.

dream baby dream.


a mood.

swans.

some things we do.



Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Saturday, August 26, 2017

a moment of clarity.

duke edwards and the young ones.

is it too late?


a reminder.

david mcknight.

strong men.




it's a vibe.

lil uzi vert.

pharrell.

neon guts.


-INTERLUDE-

lil uzi vert.

for real.


Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

why make sense...

"...when the world around refuses?..."

(starring hot chip.)


Friday, August 18, 2017

Thursday, August 17, 2017

blank face.

FILE UNDER: a moment of clarity/forty-five/america


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

a moment of clarity.


days of our lives.

a moment of clarity.

starring wilco.



FLAVORWIRE: Wilco Releases “All Lives, You Say?” In Response to Charlottesville Violence

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Saturday, August 05, 2017

a mood.

ben kweller.

wasted & ready.




it's a vibe.

simian mobile disco.

flying or falling.


Thursday, August 03, 2017

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

i stay in love.

kim ann foxman.

creature.


Saturday, July 29, 2017

hollaback girl.

with charlie rose & the late show with stephen colbert.


Thursday, July 27, 2017

it's a vibe.

FILE UNDER: mood.

fall out boy.

dance, dance.




Wednesday, July 26, 2017

mood.

tyler the creator.

frank ocean.

where this flower blooms.


Friday, July 21, 2017

space oddity.

a david bowie cover.

starring planetarium (sufjan stevens • nico muhly • bryce dessner • james mcallister).

LIVE!

At Hollywood Forever Cemetery.




come be me.

starring helado negro.



BANDCAMP: Come Be Me | Helado Negro

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Sunday, July 16, 2017

mood.

preoccupations.

fever.


Saturday, July 15, 2017

-INTERLUDE-

shabazz palaces.

fine ass hairdresser.




the national anthem.

bruno mars.

FILE UNDER: a moment of clarity/america.




"mmm hmm."

terrace martin presents the pollyseeds feat. chachi.

intentions.


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

fine girl.

a video.

starring wale, davido, & olamide.

checkout.

a video.

starring the cool kids.


Tuesday, July 11, 2017

it's a vibe.

FILE UNDER: mood.

broken social scene.

pacific theme.


Sunday, July 09, 2017

-INTERLUDE-

broken social scene.

hug of thunder.


i stay in love.

beach house.

10:37.


Saturday, July 08, 2017

labyrinth.

FILE UNDER: heart/vibes/interlude/jams.


vibes.

toro y moi.

embarcadero.


-INTERLUDE-

black lips.

crystal night.


heart.

FILE UNDER: vibes/mood/interlude/jams.


Friday, July 07, 2017

jams.

with toro y moi & his "girl like you"...


young, latin, and proud.

a npr tiny desk concert.

with helado negro.






praying.

a video.

starring kesha.


omg.

a video.

starring vic mensa & pusha t. 


a l i e n s.

starring coldplay.


Thursday, July 06, 2017

don't get captured.

a video.

starring run the jewels.


Friday, June 30, 2017

signs of life.

a video.

starring arcade fire. 


chinatown.

starring liam gallagher.


who dat boy.

a video.

starring tyler the creator & a$ap rocky.




let me breathe.

a video.

starring action bronson.


Health. CARE. First. AID.

an ongoing discussion/moment of clarity.


words.

"...The hospitals I visited all told me they devoted enormous resources – as much as half of all administrative staff, in one case – to chasing claims. Patient care in American is in this way consistently reduced to a ludicrous and irrational negotiation of two competing professional disciplines: medicine, and extracting money from insurance companies.

Patients get trapped between hospitals that overcharge for simple procedures and insurers who deny coverage for serious ones. Administrative costs and profit are two of the bigger factors explaining why Americans spend about twice as much per person or more on health care compared with other industrialized countries, but get consistently worse results.

 Ideas like a single-payer system, or ending the antitrust exemption for insurance companies, would be obvious fixes. But when they came up during the Obamacare debate, they were dismissed as politically unfeasible and/or too costly. Because the United States will not do what other countries do as a matter of course – declare health care to be a universal human right and work backward from that premise – we are continually stuck with patchwork political solutions that protect insurance and pharmaceutical company profits while leaving masses of people uninsured.

...Health care is absolute human right. On a policy level we already recognized this decades ago, during the height of the Reagan era, when the Emergency Medical and Treatment Labor Act made it illegal for public and private hospitals alike to turn patients away in an emergency. There is simply no moral justification for denying aid to a sick or dying person. Any country that does so systematically is not a country at all.

Let's hope the awful Trump era awakens us to the broader issue. The sad thing is that doing the right thing is also the smart thing. As other countries have already discovered, universal coverage systems that put the right incentives back into health care greatly reduce costs and waste. Getting there isn't "unrealistic." It's necessary, morally and otherwise."

ROLLING STONE: Finally Everyone Agrees: Health Care Is a Human Right

new york.

starring st. vincent.



ROLLING STONE: Hear St. Vincent's Melancholy New Song 'New York'

Thursday, June 29, 2017

feels.

a video.

starring calvin harris, big sean, katy perry, & pharrell williams. 

you and i.

a video.

from toro y moi.


cred woes.

starring liars.



PITCHFORK: Liars Detail New Album TFCF With Bonkers Artwork, Share New Song: Listen

i dare you.

a video.

from the xx.


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

element.

a video.

starring kendrick lamar.


the man.

a video.

starring the killers.


Sunday, June 25, 2017

the terror.

FILE UNDER: a moment of clarity.

Friday, June 23, 2017

rush hour.

FILE UNDER: AMERICA/a moment of clarity. 


four cypresses.

starring grizzly bear.




brave for you.

the marfa demo version video.

from the xx.



PITCHFORK: The xx Share New “Brave for You (Marfa Demo)” Video: Watch

trap check.

a video.

starring 2 chainz. 


rain come down.

a video.

starring vince staples & ty dolla $ign.


a moment of clarity.


words.

"We tell ourselves stories in order to live, as Joan Didion said. We do this as a nation, as individuals, as families — even when that construct is demonstrably false. For the United States, the biggest institutional lie of the moment is that we have a government of the people, responding to majority will.

On almost every single concern, Congress — whether it’s the misnamed People’s House, or the Senate, laughably mischaracterized as the world’s greatest deliberative body — is going against what most of the country wants. And Congress is doing this because there will be no consequences.

We have a fake democracy, growing less responsive and less representative by the day.

The biggest example of this is the monstrosity of a health care bill, which a cartel of Republicans finally allowed us to peek at on Thursday. The lobbyists have seen it; of course. But for the rest us, our first look at a radical overhaul of one-sixth of the economy, something that touches every American, comes too late to make our voices heard.

...The symptoms of democratic collapse — from the opioid crises of people who long ago checked out of active citizenship to the stagnation of class mobility — cry for immediate action.

It takes the median worker twice as many hours a month to pay rent in a big city today than it did in the early years of the baby boomer era, as Edward Luce notes in his new book, “The Retreat of Western Liberalism.” Add towering increases in health care and college costs to that and you’ve got an unclimbable wall between low-income limbo and a chance at the middle class. The United States, once known for our American Dream, now has the lowest class mobility of any Western democracy, according to Luce.

What is Congress doing? Nothing on wages. Nothing on college tuition. And the health care bill will most surely force many people to choose between buying groceries and being able to visit a doctor.

...Trump is president, of course, despite losing the popular vote by nearly 3 million people. Almost 60 percent of the public is against him now. In a parliamentary system, he’d be thrown out in a no-confidence vote. In our system, he’s primed to change life for every citizen, against the wishes of a majority of Americans. Try calling that a democracy while keeping a straight face."

THE NEW YORK TIMES: Our Fake Democracy

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Sunday, June 18, 2017

big fish theory.

with trevor noah & vince staples.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

square biz.


                                                                      a playlist.

1/we belong/pat benatar
2/hair/lady gaga
3/sweet dreams (are made of this)/eurythmics
4/i can only stare/sleigh bells
5/heavy metal lover/lady gaga
6/cockiness (i love it)/rihanna
7/haven't you heard/patrice rushen 
8/i feel love/donna summer
9/d2b (dick 2 bomb)/problem, bad lucc, & the homegirl
10/quit/cashmere cat & ariana grande
11/you're the one (pts. 1 & 2)/little sister
12/lose your love/joe goddard
13/home/joe goddard



Wednesday, June 07, 2017

way back.

a video.

starring tlc & snoop dogg.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

phases.

a video.

starring majid jordan. 


perfect pint.

a video.

from mike will made it, kendrick lamar, gucci mane, & rae sremmurd.



drippin.

a *nsfw* video.

from teyana taylor & migos.


another love song.

starring ne-yo.


Friday, May 26, 2017

Thursday, May 25, 2017

i will always love you.

with amber ruffin & late night with seth meyers.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

from dog to god.

a video.

from prayers.



words.

NOISEY: In the “From Dog to God” video, you’re putting on lipstick. That seems like a pretty ballsy move for a known gang member. Has there been any backlash?

SEYER: Many gang members have accepted me, and they fight for me because they know a lot of people talk shit about me, calling me this and that. These hardcore machismo dudes see me put my finger in my mouth, and they think I’m gay, but listen: I’ve dated a lot of makeup artists. You put your finger in your mouth so you don’t get lipstick on your teeth. What these dudes don’t understand is that I’ve been with some of the hottest women in San Diego—I’ve been with supermodels. These guys who are calling me names have never even been with the type of women I’ve been with. But that’s just my ego and my pride talking. Let’s get down to business: The reality is that I don’t give a fuck.

NOISEY: Why not?

SEYER: I do what I want. That’s my power and my strength. If people think I’m gay because I wear makeup, they don’t understand me. I’m the one who wanted to be filmed putting on makeup, because that’s me putting on my war paint. It’s a ritual—it’s me invoking [Christian Death vocalist] Rozz Williams and that kind of energy. That’s me getting ready go do business and fuck shit up onstage. But I also want to fuck with people, too. I want people to question their own machismo, their own sexuality. I don’t have no problem with people who are gay. People inspire me. And I want to inspire others to be who the fuck they wanna be. Don’t let people saying you’re this or that keep you from doing what you wanna do with yourself. And sometimes the only way to do that is by doing things that others fear. I’m a cholo goth—I’m the first of my kind, so I gotta represent hella hard for those who are coming up and wanna be part of this new culture. We live in different times now. Everything’s a hybrid. I’m a fuckin’ hybrid. Mexicans are hybrids—we’re crossed with indigenous blood and Spanish blood. It’s the same thing with the music I’m creating. So for me, I gotta go hard. When I put on makeup, it’s my badge of honor. Because other people can’t do it.

NOISEY: Meet Prayers, the San Diego Cholo-Goth Duo Who Want to Break Down Every Barrier In Sight

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Friday, May 19, 2017

swish swish.

starring katy perry & nicki minaj.


Thursday, May 18, 2017

that jazz.

FILE UNDER: INTERLUDE.

with postmodern jukebox/new orleans/the darkness/maiya sykes. 


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

mic jack.

a video.

starring big boi & adam levine.


mourning sound.

starring grizzly bear.


Friday, May 12, 2017

Thursday, May 11, 2017

the great below.

a moment of clarity. 
 


with rolling stone magazine & henry rollins.

words.

RS: Hypothetically, if it were you, who would be your ideal customer and how would you try to sell to them?

HR: Someone like my dad. I'm sure he thinks if you inhaled cannabis you would turn gay and the empire would crumble. I have no idea where he lives or how he's living, but what if he had arthritis? And cannabis could help reduce swelling and pain. Maybe it helps it helps him sleep, maybe it helps him with his appetite. What I'm basically detailing is many of the upsides of the medical application of cannabis. What if the outreach was so science-y and so positive and so informational, breaking away from the stereotypes of Cheech and Chong and a couch potato ordering pizza? What if you reached out to your community in such a way that even my dad, who wouldn't be caught dead using cannabis, would think, "You know what, they roll it out so sensible. Damn it, man, my hands hurt on cold days. Maybe I should give it a shot." So my outreach would be demystifying it, on the de-stigmatizing of it. I see that as the future. PTSD, all kinds of aches and pains people go through as they get older. I'm only 56 and, man, I snap, crackle and pop. I threw my body around a lot. And I'm in pain all the time. Something's always hurting.

                                                                      ...

RS: What about other kinds of drugs, like alcohol? You've called out people who drink but don't support cannabis legalization.

HR: I can't stand alcohol and I can't stand drugs. I just run away. In my line of work I meet a lot of drunks and they're so unpleasant, more often than not. They're just ugh, they're drunk. "You wanna be a man? Get a drink!" Okay. What? And there's something wrong with marijuana? "It's a gateway drug." To what? [Laughs] To alcohol? I mean, everything in this country's a gateway drug, so don't tell me that marijuana's bad when you're throwing alcohol at my head in every ad everywhere. You look at the ads: as soon as the rum bottle opens, it's women in bikinis and good times? It's a depressant, so don't tell me it's good times. Everyone's fighting and vomiting. And they need Uber to take them home 'cause they can't drive a car. I don't want to outlaw it, I just want no part in it. And to people who say, "Why don't you get your stimulation like a real American, with alcohol?" And marijuana's bad? Do you see any inconsistency or hypocrisy there? I sure do. Stop being such a hypocrite and overcome your bigotry.

ROLLING STONE: How Henry Rollins Became a Drug-Free Pot Advocate

bankroll.

starring diplo, young thug, justin beiber, and rich the kid.


malibu.

a video.

starring miley cyrus.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

die 4 u.

a video.

starring perfume genius.


Tuesday, May 09, 2017

goodbye angels.

a video.

from the red hot chili peppers.


Friday, May 05, 2017

Tuesday, May 02, 2017

east coast.

a video.

starring a$ap ferg & remy ma.




holy.

a video.

starring jamila woods.

Monday, May 01, 2017

no coffee.

a video.

starring amber coffman.


Saturday, April 29, 2017

total entertainment forever.

a video.

from father john misty.

Friday, April 28, 2017

i'm the one.

a video.

starring dj khaled, justin beiber, quavo, and chance the rapper. 





bon appétit.

starring katy perry & migos.


right now.

a video.

starring haim. 


a moment of clarity.

words.

"Fans of old TV series may remember a classic “Twilight Zone” episode titled “It’s a Good Life.” It featured a small town terrorized by a 6-year-old who for some reason had monstrous superpowers, coupled with complete emotional immaturity. Everyone lived in constant fear, made worse by the need to pretend that everything was fine. After all, any hint of discontent could bring terrible retribution.

And now you know what it must be like working in the Trump administration. Actually, it feels a bit like that just living in Trump’s America.

...Unfortunately, we know the answer. Every report from inside the White House conveys the impression that Trump is like a temperamental child, bored by details and easily frustrated when things don’t go his way; being an effective staffer seems to involve finding ways to make him feel good and take his mind off news that he feels makes him look bad.

...Right now, by all accounts, the child-man in chief is in a snit over the prospect of news stories that review his first 100 days and conclude that he hasn’t achieved much if anything (because he hasn’t). So last week he announced the imminent release of something he could call a tax plan.

According to The Times, this left Treasury staff — who were nowhere near having a plan ready to go — “speechless.” But nobody dared tell him it couldn’t be done. Instead, they released … something, with nobody sure what it means.

...I’d like to make a plea to my colleagues in the news media: Don’t pretend that this is normal. Let’s not act as if that thing released on Wednesday, whatever it was, was something like, say, the 2001 Bush tax cut; I strongly disapproved of that cut, but at least it was comprehensible. Let’s not pretend that we’re having a real discussion of, say, the growth effects of changes in business tax rates.

No, what we’re looking at here isn’t policy; it’s pieces of paper whose goal is to soothe the big man’s temper tantrums. Unfortunately, we may all pay the price of his therapy."

THE NEW YORK TIMES: Living in the Trump Zone

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

i think of you.

a video.

starring jeremih, chris brown, & big sean.




Monday, April 24, 2017

break a guitar.

a video.

from ty segall (& friends).


legacy.

a video.

starring faith evans & the notorious b.i.g.


Sunday, April 23, 2017

swimming pools.

FILE UNDER: a moment of clarity/america.
 

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

polymorphing.

a video.

starring chairlift. 


hard times.

a video.

starring paramore. 



PITCHFORK: Paramore Announce New Album After Laughter, Share Video for New Song “Hard Times”: Watch

no frauds.

a video.

starring nicki minaj, drake, and lil wayne. 

long time.

a video.

starring blondie.

lust for life.

starring lana del rey & the weeknd. 


a moment of clarity.


words.

"...But when they continue to question her gender identity — and are skeptical of her response — the message they send is that a girl cannot look and act like her and still be a girl.

She is not gender nonconforming. She is gender role nonconforming. She does not fit into the mold that we adults — who have increasingly eschewed millenniums-old gender roles ourselves, as women work outside the home and men participate in the domestic sphere — still impose upon our children.

Left alone, would boys really never wear pink? (That’s rhetorical — pink was for decades considered a masculine color.) Would girls naturally reject Matchbox cars? Of course not, but if they show preferences for these things, we label them. Somehow, as we have broadened our awareness of and support for gender nonconformity, we’ve narrowed what we think a boy or a girl can look like and do.

Let’s be clear: If my daughter does begin to feel that the gender in her mind and the sex of her body don’t match, I will be supportive. I will research puberty blockers and hormones (more than I already have). I will listen to her and make decisions accordingly, just as I did when she turned 3 and asked for a tie and a button-down shirt. Then she saw her father wear a blazer (for once). Her eyes rounded and she said, “What is that?” as if she were seeing a double rainbow spread across the sky.

I want trans kids to feel free and safe enough to be who they are. I also want adults to have a fluid enough idea of gender roles that a 7-year-old girl can dress like “a boy” and not be asked — by people who know her, not strangers — whether she is one.

...The kids get it. But the grown-ups do not. While celebrating the diversity of sexual and gender identities, we also need to celebrate tomboys and other girls who fall outside the narrow confines of gender roles. Don’t tell them that they’re not girls.

 My daughter is happy with her body and comfortable with the way she looks, thousands of times happier and more comfortable than I am or ever have been. She is my hero. Or rather, my heroine."

THE NEW YORK TIMES: My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy.