Hold Up, Wait a Minute

Just when you thought it was safe to say where the hell did 50 Cent go, he goes and opens his mouth, attempting to make himself relevant again before a new album/single/movie/video game or something drops.



He tells Contactmusic:

"You wanna know something? I actually like Bush. In some ways, I'm the George W Bush of hip hop - nobody likes me, but I'm still gonna run it for the next four years."


Riight. That's ambitious and all, but if you truly want to 'run it, run it', you gotta get your Deputy Chief of Staff to make sure pics like this don't become the norm for you. You look like Ne-Yo's lesser known [and less successful] older brother who strips for a living. If this were indeed true, this would be older Ne-Yo's promo pic.

It's a bird! It's a plane!

Earlier this week I gave my input on the whole

Panic! At the Disco/My Chemical Romance bottle throwing from the audience fiascos.

Well now we have actual footage. A few things:

1. I thought he got hit in the head. It totally looks like he got hit in the arm. No?
2. Does he dramatically stumble before the...
3. ...dramatic fall (?).
4. Do his fellow band members treat the fall as a theatrical part of the act and keep strumming before showing some interest in his well being?


Panic At The Disco Singer KO'd By Bottle Reading Festival 06

Too Much of Something is Bad Enough

"My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters... from giving blow jobs. "I totally believed her. She's like, 'It's from sucking.' I'm like, 'Ewwww!' "I told my boyfriend - he's like, 'Why don't you ever do that?' I'm like, 'Because my mom told me you get these craters.' And he's like, 'Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.' "I've only done that (fellatio) with maybe three people in my life."-Paris Hilton

I wonder what strong words of wisdom her mom gave her regarding pre-marital sex.

Set Adrift on a Memory's Bliss

We all know the Snoop D-O-Double G can toke like no other. And all of us are more than certian that he ain't the only rapper/singer/musician who likes to pass the duchie on the left hand side from time to time. But we're all too quick to forget that Willie Nelson likes him some ganj too and could probably smoke us all under the table. Just ask Johnny Knoxville. One hit from Willie's stash and Knoxville felt like he "was on [bleeping] acid. ... And I had to do interviews that day. I called him later to say, 'Thanks a lot, Willie. I was on [bleeping] Mars for six hours.'" Damn. Sounds like some good shit.

Girl You Know It's True

It's offical. Ashlee Simpson will be heading to London soon to begin rehearsals for Chicago the musical. Simpson will be tackling the role of Roxie Hart. I don't know how I feel about this, but Chicago's London producer seems excited and can't wait to see the audience's reaction to her performance. She better come with it,

cause we all know how judgemental and demanding English audiences can be.

He Works Hard For The Money! [Update]

In case you all were wondering K-Fed is reportedly playing the deadbeat husband of a celebrity when he guest stars on HBO's Entourage next season. Just a heads up so that when you are watching said episodes you won't think 'WHOA, who put on an episode of

Chaotic

while I was watching Entourage? That shit ain't cool!'

He Works Hard For The Money

This just in from

What Would Tyler Durden Do?:

Britney Spears’ hubby will be seen in three episodes of Entourage. The HBO series focuses on a hot young Hollywood actor and his freeloading mates. A source close to Kevin, 28, said: “He is really keen — and not insulted when he was asked to play the part.”

So earlier this week we found out that Kevin Ferderline will have a guest spot on CSI. Not Last Night a DJ Saved My Life Worthy. Why? Cause I don't watch CSI and don't care for it or any of its spin-offs. But I DO care about and love Entourage. Fuck this up and I'm coming after your ass. Not Justin Timberlake Cry Me a River style, more Beyonce crazy black woman Ring the Alarm style.

Quote of the Day!

"For the love of all that's holy, America, make Scissor Sisters a household name already! If you don't, I'm coming to your local banquette, and I guarantee, it won't be pretty!"-Michael Slezak, ew.com

A Public Affair?

Lovebirds?

What?

I Am The Walrus

Definitely Maybe. (What's the Story) Morning Glory? The Masterplan. Standing on the Shoulders of Giants. Heathen Chemistry. In high school these albums kicked some serious ass. Three of the five were bought in used record stores after every music mag and newspaper let me know that Definitely Maybe and What's the Story were hot shit. [Yeah I got em for street cred what?] I joined the bandwagon, I lived for Noel's songwriting and Liam's I don't give two shits vocal inflections. [Before I fell in love with Ryan Adams' I don't give two shits persona and vocal inflections.] Soon I moved on from the used store discounts and would rush to the stores when a new Oasis album dropped. [See Standing on the Shoulders of Giants and Heathen Chemistry.] There was no mistaking it, I was a fan.

Yeah they were cocky and at times overly ambitious cokeheads and alcoholics [Be Here Now anyone?], full of Pete Doherty like antics before we knew who Pete Doherty was, and the only mainstays of the group are the brothers with each new album, but hey just more to love baby and at one point in time I wasn't the only one with a big boy crush on Oasis. Today I still get a little interested when a new Oasis album is announced and in the past managed to not let the whole talk about being bigger than the Beatles or taking over America dissuade me from enjoying their tunes. Oasis are, to make a long story short, my Pearl Jam, my Nine Inch Nails;I was there early on and would give any new material a chance.

Well as we all know Oasis ain't the hot shit to everyone anymore and the whole conquering America thing didn't really pan out. Going back to the drawing board the Gallagher brothers are set to launch a, get this, hotel chain in the U.S.of A. According to information leaked by a source to Britain's Daily Star Newspaper, "The plan is to open as many hotels as possible by the end of 2007 and name each venue Supernova Heights, after Noel's former home in north London. They want to base rooms at one of the Miami venues around 'The Hindu Times' song."

Financial investors are said to be involved and the brothers are said to be dead serious about this venture into real estate in America. But not all plans and ideas are garnering interest. Also noted by the source: "Their plan to install alcohol and cigarettes in every room of their New York hotel, in honour of their track 'Cigarettes and Alcohol' has gone down like a lead balloon because so many people are anti-smoking." Can't win em all. Silly Blokes.


Rock on Oasis, rock on. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some Oasis cd's to dust off all night.

P.Y.T.?

This month Janet "Ms. Jackson if your nasty" Jackson and that bodacious body of hers graces the cover of FHM magazine. Similar to the photo spread in the current issue of Vibe magazine, Janet's in a bikini, covering her breasts, flashing the abs, and looking seductive, and stating how she's never been this semi nude for a shoot for quite some time or something like that. [I beg to differ. Isn't she just draped in a sheet or bed comforter for the All For You album jacket?]FHM also goes a step further and places Janet in a sexy lingerie number on her stomach, looking up at the camera and giving us viewers a glimpse of everything from her head right on down to her toes. It's a sight many of us not named Rene, El, or Jermaine have ever laid our eyes on: Janet's legs.

Think about that for a minute. When I saw these photos the first thought that came to mind was 'damn, still looking good, still showing off.' And then when it was brought to my attention that Janet's legs don't get much exposure I thought about it and you know what it's kind of true. We all know baby's got back and strength down there cause 1)she tells us in songs and 2)she dances like nobody's business, but 9 times out of 10 the bottom half of her body plays second fiddle to the breastesses and those abs. But why Janet? Why? From the outside looking in it's all to the good and we all know you ain't one to not shake/show what your mama gave ya.

Now normally we can place insecurities and the like on society, high expectations, parents, friends, tv, Abercrombie and Fitch, etc, but today we learn that the finger should be pointed at the king of confidence, big brother Michael Jackson. According to Janet, Michael loved to tease Janet when they were younger about her "fat butt" and it seems such comments still plague her to this day:

"I was made to feel like I was a fat kid by Michael. It really affected me, even as an adult."

And all this time I thought Janet's changing styles, fluctuations in weight, and desire to look good at all times were her own doing and deeply internal. Nope. It's all Michael Jackson's fault. That's just wrong Mike. She's your little sister. Why you wanna be starting something?

No Matter What The Say

I am beautiful. Right?



I guess the joke's on us normal folks. Seems Jessica Simpson and Jared Leto were on to something with their

pre-Halloween Halloween shenanigans.

It's Not TV...

Really Diddy?...Really?

I Gotta Pee

Homie You Don't Know Me

Okay, so this video is kind of funny too.

50 cent getting bottled


Not gon lie though 50; Your amazingly catchy singles [when done right] get me going on the dancefloor and even made it to my IPod. Yeah I said it. What?

This Is How You Remind Me Of What I Really Am?

Much fuss has been made about the throwing of rocks and bottles and drinks,- oh my!- at members of Panic!At The Disco and My Chemical Romance over at the Reading Music Festival in the U.K. Now eventhough I got my chuckle on when I read and saw the subsequent photos of Panic's lead singer knocked out after being hit I still don't think anyone should have to endure that kind of torture when they are just trying to do what they love. And hate on My Chemical Romance all you want cause MTV propelled them from your favorite Jersey band to the national spotlight, but I believe they are a band to watch. Listen to the music, endure the antics, theatrics, and magazine spreads with an open mind and set aside your hateful and elitist judgement calls. [See also: The Killers]But I digress. Not cool to have things thrown at you. It just ain't right. And then I found this video and the hateful elitist guy inside of me laughed til the cows came home and doesn't feel bad for the band at all.

NICKELBACK STOPS SHOW

Blonde on Blonde

Andy Warhol. Michael Jackson. Liza Minelli. Anne Heche [the Ellen years]. Jared Leto. Brandon Flowers. P!nk. My cousin's girlfriend's mother we all affectionately call Nana. I see these people in this photo. Gerard Way? Nope. Not seeing it. Not seeing it at all.

Oh Word!

Last Friday, Rollingstone.com gave us this wonderful tidbit from Sir Elton John:

"I want to bring my songs and melodies to hip hop beats -- a bit like 'No Diggity' by Blackstreet...I want to work with Pharrell (Williams), Timbaland, Snoop (Dogg), Kanye (West), Eminem and just see what happens. It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don't know until you try..."

Sinead O'Connor did something like this a few years back and it actually worked. Can Elton John come with it? Could he be another one of the "baddest lil pups in the hip-hop bizz?"* We'll see. Oh and Elton before I forget, if Pharell, Timb, and Co. don't return your calls hit up Scott Storch. He's all about giving those we least expect he would dope ass beats. Aight?...Cool.Fa sho. Fa sho.


*The artist formerly known as Lil Bow Wow

Big Ups Piven!

Sure he's no musician/singer/dancer/etc. but I f***ing love Jeremy Piven and I was just as excited as he was when he won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his over the top scene stealing agent Ari Gold[though Kevin Dillon's Johnny Drama is sneaking up on him in this dept.]in Entourage. [I also dug the dishelved 'oh I have an awards show to go to? Fuck! I just woke up from Saturday night's debauchery. Shit. Oh well I'll rock the Tom Ford aping fitted suit with an ascot' look.]

But you see Jeremy Piven gets even more points for the way he handled the pre-show banter with everyone's favorite celebrity interviewer, Access Hollywood's Billy Bush. I don't know about y'all but when I watch these pre-show things I am grateful I can press mute, look away, or find something else to watch. Celebrities don't have such a luxury on the red carpet. Kudos to Piven for not worrying about tainting an image or alienating fans and choosing to simply keep it real.

In a minute's time Billy Bush managed to not ask a hot and exhausted Jeremy Piven about his hit tv show, instead he went the US Weekly route asking whether he had laid eyes on any celebrity babies in the previous months. [Jennifer Garner's, Tom Cruise's, and Angelina's to be exact.] Channeling his inner Ari Gold Piven came back with, "I have 116 other things to do...I don't go hunting for celebrity babies, thank you, Billy." But Billy kept on and Piven left him with these fine words of wisdom:

"You need another job. You have potential as a human being... This may not be right for you. Seriously -- can you focus on other things?"

Spot on J-dawg. Spot on.

Black Like Me!

Today is Monday August 28, 2006. Summer is still here and you know what, it is still hot as I don't know what outside. I paraded about town today adorned in what were supposed to be subdued and hushed tones of blue and white, and you know what, I still got my sweat on like it was my job. Now like I said summertime is still here, temperatures are less cool, more warm, and Halloween is nearly two months away. Seems Jessica Simpson and Jared Leto [he of 30 Seconds to Mars fame] didn't get the memo about you know it being summertime, and you know, not October 31st.




Shit I'm sweating just looking at them.

Headline of the Night!

Bloc Party To Open For Panic! At The Disco

I too am perplexed*.











*Actually I am not. I understand what those on high/the band is doing publicity wise, but COME ON!

Take That, Rewind It Back!

Today's quote comes courtesy of the one, the only, Steven Seagal:

"Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner - they're not even in my universe...You can't find another actor who can play guitar as good as me. It's the truth."

You hear that people, Steve is badass. Now go out and buy his new blues album. If you don't, who will? Come on now don't you want to get your hands on a disc that contains a self-penned tune titled Talk To My Ass?...I thought so.

Oh Boy!

Boy George on getting arrested and charged with cocaine possession by the NYPD last October:

"All my life I've thought: 'I never want to get in trouble with the law in America.' But everything happens for a reason, I suppose - I just haven't worked out what it is yet. I think everyone knows what happened that night. Some parts were exaggerated, some were underplayed. But when I was arrested the police were really hideous to me. I just couldn't understand why they would be so bad - they wouldn't even give you water so I had to drink my own urine in the cells. Seriously. I thought: 'What have I done to deserve this? What happened to beyond reasonable doubt?'"

Heartbreaker You Got The Best Of Me!

Mariah Carey's tour [yeah I forgot about it too] hit NYC last night. From what I hear it was a nice homecoming show with guest appearances from on again/off again retiree Jay-Z, P.Diddy, and Da Brat. [ODB was there too, in video form for everyone's favorite jam from 1995 Fantasy.]Congrats on the show Mariah, but I must take issue with your choice of attire for the event:

What happened to the elegant and classy looking tour designs

we all saw before the tour took off? Oh wait, nevermind, they do kind of look similar. I guess something got lost in translation when it came time to make the outfits move from the page to the stage. I mean really. What is this, Prom? Someone's Quincenera? And in one pic you look like someone's mom trying to look good...in Laguna Beach. And in another it seems like you want to be a crime fighting superhero who fights crime in her skivies or pjs. If young girls and women across America start thinking baring your midriff everytime you step out the house is the new black I am going to blame you.

I Don't Feel Like Dancin!

Whenever I watched So You Think You Can Dance this summer I had the urge to break into dance or get my choreograph on following every jaw dropping and wonderfully entertaining piece. I can't say that ABC's Dancing with the Stars will have the same effect on me.





Is that bald guy Joey Lawerence? Well at least he doesn't look as bad/uncomfortable as Jerry Springer does? And what's with Tucker Carlson's orange glow? More importantly, what's with Tucker Carlson being here? Is he trying to score some street cred with the youngins in the red states? And I think Emmitt Smith mistook his promo shot for a Prom portrait. The only person who comes away unscathed is A.C. Slater. I bet he and his couple will kick some ass. Not that I watch this show or anything.

Razzle Dazzle?

Last night R&B recording star Usher Raymond made his debut on Broadway as Billy Flynn in Chicago. Have yet to read any reviews, but it can't be too far of a stretch, Usher can sing and dance his ass off so it should be all to the good. [Though viewings of In the Mix and old Moesha episodes could lead one to question his acting abilities.]He is yet another actor/singer who decided to take a break from life in the fast lane and retreated to the "simplistic" and humble thrills that come from performing in the theatre.


And now it seems another pop starlet could soon be memorizing lines and all that jazz, although I don't know how I feel about this. Punktastic superstar Ashlee Simpson has been approached to star as Roxie Hart in the London and U.S. versions of Chicago. If she takes it all I have to say to her is do not, I repeat DO NOT fuck this up. Roxie is all sex appeal and vulnerability both real and fake, with a strong coo, not rasp and forced sass. Just letting you know.

[I be saying] NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

When you be saying Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!



NO! Don't do that!

Back on one of those other block rockin' beats!

Beck-Motorcade

Quote of the Day!

Reuters:

Noting the music industry's complaints that illegal downloading means people are getting their music for free, he said, "Well, why not? It ain't worth nothing anyway."-That cool motherfucker known as Bob Dylan

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where did this video come from and why am I just now seeing it in the summer of 2006. The White Stripes album Elephant is one of the best albums of the 2000's hands down. A modern day classic with old school flourishes. Check out this video for I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself [a rollicking Burt Bacarach cover] starring Kate Moss, all sultry and seductive in black and white. Come for the tune, stay for the pole dancing. Best part? The end when she slides down the pole as the guitar buzzes and fades out. It sounds dirty but it ain't.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself


And another thing. How did we get by without YouTube? Everyone complains about the lack of music videos on MTV and the like but who cares when music/music videos you truly care about are readily accessible anytime on a daily basis? God bless you YouTube.

Right Here's The Spot

Are you sitting down? Really? Well prepare to get on the floor and shake that ass because the supersonic duo that is Basement Jaxx have decided to be really generous, offering up the entirety of their new album Crazy Itch Radio in stores September 12th for all to stream for free on myspace and their website. Sure placing music online before it is released can lead to illegal downloading, but true fans buy albums, and there is nothing worse than spending money on an album that has two to three good tracks. God bless streaming and pre-scanning. But then again I am not worried about Basement Jaxx's new album. It will be a soulful/booty-go-thump affair.

Stream the album here:

Basement Jaxx's official website

Basement Jaxx's Myspace stream

Big Ups Pete!

That's right Pete, get excited for it seems that you and your peter have reason to celebrate. According to aol.com you have come out on top when it comes to online searches for nude pictures. That places you above both Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton who came in second and third place respectively. Dance, dance Pete. You deserve it!

It's all the way live!

Lists. The new black for 2006. If you ain't blogging and/or crafting a mixtape, you're crafting a list of some sort. Spin magazine is no stranger to all things list and in their latest issue they give us this, the 25 Greatest Live Bands Now!


1. U2
2. The Stooges
3. Arcade Fire
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Radiohead
6. White Stripes
7. Green Day
8. The Hives
9. Prince
10. The Dirtbombs
11. Queens Of The Stone Age
12. Turbonegro
13. My Chemical Romance
14. Yeah Yeah Yeahs
15. Riverboat Gamblers
16. The Flaming Lips
17. The Roots
18. My Morning Jacket
19. Art Brut
20. Gogol Bordello
21. Against Me!
22. LCD Soundsystem
23. AFI
24. The Mars Volta
25. Comets On Fire

Not bad. That's the first thought that comes to mind. Remember I said first thought, before I take the time to analyze. Upon first glance I say not bad. Before you get all angry this list isn't just about which band kicks ass on wax, no, this list is which band kicks ass on wax, and then brings it on stage with the sound, the visuals, the charisma, and most importantly the entertainment and consistency. [None of that time to go to the bathroom shit as is the case at a Madonna show when she straps on a guitar.]That is the main reason why U2 is at the top, cause they bring it and they pace it well.

That still doesn't mean I would put them at the top. Granted I have not seen them live, in fact I have only seen five of the 25 acts [Radiohead, The White Stripes, The Hives, Prince, and The Roots] but thanks to the wonders of Youtube, award shows and the like I know who brings it live and that is why I can respect the acts that I need to see but haven't who are on this list. [Yeah Yeah Yeahs, My Morning Jacket, The Flaming Lips and Queens of the Stone Age.]

Now let's look at that top ten again. That needs to be rearranged and/or worked with no? [I'm past the first glance not bad stance now] Without adding my own bands and working with what they provide my top ten would look like this:

1.Arcade Fire -from what I hear the band to see live. Known til play til they can't play no more. [literally the instruments come apart, strings go this way and that, etc.]
2.The White Stripes [Jack White knows how to perform and you'll be surprised how two people can remain so fresh and raw for nearly three hrs.]
3.The Hives [Cocky, balls to the walls power-pop punk with hints of Screamin Jay Hawkins, James Brown, and Mick Jagger in frontman Howlin Pete. Did I mention the matching suits, perfect stage lighting and giant Vegas like name plate in the background?]
4.The Flaming Lips [Bringing out the inner kid in us all one concert and psychedlic leaning at a time.]
5.Yeah Yeah Yeahs [Frontwoman Karen O has more persona in her eyelashes than most of her male and female counterparts have in their entire body. And Nick Zinner is a sight to behold for such a nimble little being.]
6.Radiohead [Like a bottle of fine wine...Thom Yorke and company finally seem comfortable with the fact that they have fans who know all the words to their songs. And it shows, particularly in the way they'll play all night if they need to.]
7.U2 [The voice. The hits. The christ like leanings. The size. The capacity. The fans. The screams. The organization.]
8.My Morning Jacket [Finally a band that knows how to jam, groove, move, and entertain an audience. Cop the live album. In stores soon. You'll see what I am talking about. They ain't big on the Bonaroo like circuits for nothing.]
9. Prince. [See U2.]
10. The Roots [Live hip hop (and straight up music for that matter) at its finest. Known to always accomplish that much sought after role of appearing polished and refined while at the same time seeming off the cuff and completely spontaneous.]

And now, the omissions:

1.Wilco. Hands down the first band that comes to mind. Come on now. Are you kidding me? The last two albums were especially crafted to be played live and when they are OH MY GOD. Amazing. Cop the live double album Kicking Television and you'll see what I am talking about.

2.David Bowie. Sure he ain't touring everyone goddamn year like a rolling stone or a madonna, but when he hits a stage [as he did at Area 2 a few years back] he still has it. Handsome, vocally secure, and willing and able to masterfully mix the old with the new. Good times had by all.

3.Peaches. Yeah the schtick should be old by now, but it ain't. Especially when you match the antics to the beats. Too much.

4.The Sounds. Not as popular as they would like to be, but if you get a chance to catch this band live, [all synths and in your face sexuality from frontwoman Maja Ivarsson] you will not be dissapointed. Maya and Karen O, hands down, two of the best frontwomen around right now. No joke.

5. The Hold Steady. You ever go to a bar or some dive and there's a band playing that just gets its audience? The band just knows who they are playing to and treats everyone like bff's along for the ride that is watching them perform.

6. Le Tigre. These girls know how to get down AND get a message across without beating you over the head with it. Nuff said.

That's all for now. But all in all not bad Spin, not bad. But seriously no Wilco? Come on now, come on.

Oh I Wanna Dance With Somebody!

Not a New Yorker, but I just assume that the NY Post is New York's USA Today or a National Enquirer with more news, less gossip [or the right amount], all razzle dazzle, snap, crackle, and pop; Large print, crazy photographs, headlines and covers so large they nearly smack you in the face and ask who's your daddy. Take today's cover story which manages to combine two totally different social and newsworthy phenomenons and make them one:



Go further inside the mag(?)[newspaper ?] and you're hit with this:

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States - the world's most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he's even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.
Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden's sex slave, writes in her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, which is excerpted in the September Harper's: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

Boof - who wrote for the soap opera "The Days of Our Lives" until she was axed last month - continues, "He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting."

Boof says bin Laden couldn't stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

But bin Laden's murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar.

"[He would say] how beautiful she is," Boof claims, "what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.


I wish I was making this up. I truly have no witty banter or hard hitting commentary for this one. I'll just let the words speak for themselves. Yeah I don't even know where to begin or how to touch this one. Kudos NY Post. I'm totally flabbergasted.

The Union Forver

I forget where I was exactly, but not too long ago I was scanning some indie rock blog and amidst all the up to date info on Snakes on a Plane, Killers bashing from fans, and anything Gnarls Barkley [your new favorite band even if you don't know it yet]I ran across a post that simply said something along the lines of 'I miss the White Stripes'. The writer had no new news or anything to report on the Stripes, he just posted a collection of great photos of the duo and longed for the not too far gone days where they were a force to be reckoned with and The Raconteurs were just an idea. [Not that I don't love me some Raconteurs. Best start and end songs on a disc this year: Steady as she goes and Blue Veins respectively.] I was angry I didn't come up with the idea first cause I do miss the White Stripes, and their Get Behind Me Satan tour was kickass. [Grab a performance of The Nurse and you'll see what I am talking about.] Word on the street is the "band" is just on hiatus which is good news to my ears. And later on this fall you can catch them on an episode of the Simpsons, which is apparently a dream come true for drummer Meg. Thank God they're still kicking.

That's Hot!

It's here. In two days anybody who chooses to do so can get their hands on a copy of Paris Hitlon's debut album. And you know what, it ain't half bad. Yeah that's right, I said it. Call her what you want, but when it comes to marketing the brand that is Paris Hilton, she ain't stupid.

I say this because when Paris decided to set her sights on moving from singing with a brush in front of her mirror to singing with a mic in a recording studio, she knew she had to surround herself with producers and songwriters that could work well with her and get it right. And guess what, she did.

For six of the 11 tracks Scott Storch is on board, housing Paris' vocals in the club thumping soundscapes not too distant from those he provided for Chris Brown and others. Turn You On, one of the best tracks on the album, outlines a typical night for Paris where she dances on the table top and attracts stares from guys and girls alike, but who can't blame them cause she's sexy. Sexy enough to cover Rod Stewart's old school hit Do Ya Think I'm Sexy and actually not fuck it up. I kid you not.

Across the board, Paris aims to dip her feet into whatever genre works for her, or is present on her Ipod. Lead single Stars are Blind, gives a little reggae, a little Blondie, and a little Stefani. Heartbeat passes itself off for a Time after the Time for the two double O 6, while Jealousy [a peak into her "feud" with Nicole Richie perhaps?] out alternative rocks Lindsay, Hillary, and Ashlee Simpson's latest single by merely being catchy and smartly put together.

Yeah she probably wrote none of the songs on this disc. And her voice may be layered. And we may have to wait til a live performance to see if she is as passionate about this as she wants us all to believe. And yeah it's no album of the year. But all that aside, this disc is good for what it is: 35 minutes of head bobbing, ass shaking, catchy pop music. I'm not sure I am ready for Paris the pop starlet, but I am always down for some good pop music. And I'm cool with the whole Stacy Q vibe for 2006.

Key Tracks: Turn You On, Do You Think I'm Sexy, Screwed


*Now normally I would not waste my time writing a review of a Paris Hilton album but said screw it when I saw that the NY Post gave it three out of four stars and made some strong points that I totally agree with. Check it out:

NY Post's review of Paris

SSSSSS!!! Fire baby!

Yeah I know. Not really a music post, but I felt that I, along with everyone else in the world of blogging, had to weigh in with my two cents and you know what, this movie is, and I quote, "all that and a bag of chips." Drama, suspense, comedy, it's all here and there's a fine balance of laughing with the cast and crew and laughing at them. Another great surprise is the large influx of 'that guy' characters, as in 'that guy is in this movie?' For example this movie has that guy from Will and Grace and Happy Endings, that guy from UPN's One on One, that chick from Clueless the television show, and that guy from Anchorman. [And Kennan from Kennan and Kel is in it doing his usual funny Kennan schtick.] And the glue holding it all together? That would be Samuel L. Jackson who gives a performance that is neither tongue in cheek or over the top, he just brings it and when that infamous line comes near the end you can't help but clap your hands and cheer. [At least that's what I did along with my fellow SOAP audience members. Props must be given to Julianna Marguiles of ER fame for also turning in a fine performance.]Drunk*, stoned*, or sober you will enjoy this movie. Destined to be a classic. And make sure you round up the troops for this one. Definitely one of the best social outings to come along in quite some time.


*If you find yourself drinking before the flick just make sure you actually make it to the theatre. I have friends who bought tickets in advance, who were waiting for quite some time to see the flick. Then Friday rolled around and copious amounts of alcohol were consumed resulting in a fun drunken night that did not include Snakes on a Plane. But don't fret, they did manage to get their money back.

MIXTAPE FRIDAYS!

It was the last week of school. The upcoming Wednesday was the last day of classes. I had two dance classes: Advanced Technique and Advanced Reperoty and Performance and I had three academic classes: my senior seminar, Visuality and Ethnicity in Contemporary Art, Modern Art, and my pass/fail zero level Chemistry class that I needed to pass in order to graduate. [Did I mention it was my last semester of college?]

It was also the week following Ivie's weekend. For those who don't know Ivie's weekend is pretty much a four day excursion at Bowdoin [for others a week] into debauchery. You drink and drink and drink, morning, noon, and night from Thursday through Sunday. And if the weather is nice, [as it was this year] you do so on the quad with your nalgene full of liquor, your cooler, a moon bounce, some couches, and live performances. [this year we nabbed OK GO].

The Sunday following Ivie's I caught the flu. A bad case of it. Sucks for me. Fortunately it was the last week of classes so sleeping through many of my classes and work was ok. Unfortunately I had a 15-20 page paper due for my seminar and a final for my Modern Art class on that Weds when classes came to an end before Reading Period.

For my seminar we had to pick an artist and do an in depth paper on their works as well as a presentation for the class. It was not to be a biography piece, but, as stated before, and in depth look, an exploration if you will into the life, times, and works of the artist. I went with African American artist David Hammons. A visual/contemporary/performance artist whose works deals a lot with African Americans, their histories, and conditions and often utilizes found objects such as hair collected from barber shops in Harlem, empty night train bottles, and used, greased chicken bags. I had a ball diving into his creations and opinions on American life. Once I started typing, the idea of stretching his and my thoughts into 15-20 pages wasn't so scary as it was at the outset and things were okay. [As evidenced by the high grade I eventually recieved on the paper and in the class.] Check out some of his work here:

Works of David Hammons

It also happened to be a week after the last dance show of my Bowdoin career. My Advanced Dance class did a moving 15 minute modern/contemporary piece set to four songs from The Rodeo Eroded album by the Tin Hat Trio. Seeing as how the it was only a week after the show I found myself stuck with the Tin Hat Trio's songs in my head quite often and listened to them quite a bit as I crafted my paper on David Hammons/studied for my Modern Art final/battled the flu.

One song from the album that stands out is one of the few with vocals titled Willow Weep For Me. It's a gorgeous orchestral number featuring sweeping vocals from none other than Willie Nelson. We had danced to it in class but I had no idea it was on the Tin Hat Trio's disc til I got my hands on a copy following the show. Immediately I knew I had a new favorite song and the one way to guarantee continued listening was to craft a playlist around it. I had the flu and was knee deep in art; It was on the brain like whoa, hence the title of the playlist:

David Hammons

1/Blue Veins/The Raconteurs
2/It's A Man's Man's World/James Brown
3/Willow Weep For Me/Tin Hat Trio feat Willie Nelson
4/Porcelain/Red Hot Chili Peppers
5/Ode To L.A./The Ravonettes feat. Ronnie Spector
6/Satisfied/Prince
7/Waves/The Elected
8/Subterranean Homesick Blues/Bob Dylan
9/Long Haired Child/Devendra Banhart
10/Gone/Kanye West feat. Consequence and Camron
11/29/Ryan Adams

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, I'm floating in a constant heaven!

Earlier this week we saw shots of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty in a London bar drinking guiness, giving an impromptu acoustic performance, and having a good time. We all secretly hoped that they would play it safe and the buck would stop there. Especially Mr. Doherty. And then, this:

Breitbart.com reports that today Pete Doherty was chraged with not one, not two, not three, but seven, count em seven (!) counts of possessing drugs including cocaine and diamorphine. Seems Britain's favorite lush was stopped by police in the London streets on suspesion of drug possession. And there suspicions proved correct. So much for that whole rehab stint and implant to stop the cravings, or whatever it was for.

For the moment Kate Moss seems to be in the clear leaving Pete all alone with his charges, asking the bobbies, "how come everytime you come around my London, London Bridge keeps going down?"

Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me

A while back Beyonce dropped her first single and video for her upcoming sophomore album B'Day. Many people did not and still don't care for either. But I like both of them. Her second single however did not grab me right away and on first listen I didn't care for it. But I held out hope; a video was sure to be next and hopefully Beyonce could whip up something that could in turn warm me up to the song.

And guess what? She did. [God what did artists do before music videos? Oh yeah they made good music that stood on its own for the most part. But I digress...]

Ain't gon lie. This video showcases some of the best acting B has ever done. She plays the wealthy wifey scorned cause her boo has found someone else to throw chinchillas and shit at well. Those scenes of her in what appears to be the big house over looking the water are straight up chilling for the mere fact that the lyrics come to life in her facial expressions, gyrations, and urgency. It's one of those rare times when the visuals force you to listen to what is coming out of the artists's mouth cause obviously she is pissed. There's also a "mmm hmm sister girl" Texas bitch you don't mess with tone to it all and I'll be damned if anyone wants to cross Beyonce when she's like this.

And who doesn't like the nod to Basic Instinct and the artistic close up of the bright red lips parting to smile at the end. It seems B is vindicated at the end of it all, but exactly what did she do? The mystery is chilling.

Beyonce : Ring the Alarm

And now a few words [again] from Justin Timberlake

Today is Thursday August 17, 2006. Justin Timberlake's new album Futuresex/Lovesounds doesn't drop til Tuesday September 12th meaning we got a whole nother two and half of weeks of Justin shedding his Mouseketeer image and reveling more in the life and times of Dirty Pop. So once again, Justin Timberlake has something to say [this time to Fashion Rocks, a fall supplement to Vanity Fair] in hopes that you are listening and will in turn, cop the album.

On dating Spears:
“I dated Britney half my life, but I don’t know that person anymore. I’m not sure I knew her before. If I was writing an article about her, I would not be able to fight the urge to write every dirty thing about her.”

On his ’80s-inspired album, Future Sex/Love Sounds:
“I wanted it to look to a time when everything was really sexy. Maybe everybody was coked up, but who cares? It was hot. It was all about sex.”

On smoking weed:
“I remember the first time it was reported that I smoked pot. I was like, Y’all don’t? that’s why I sort of respect Kate Moss. I think you lose once you start trying to analyze what people like. So I’m like, I hope you like how I live, but if you don’t, you don’t.”

Oh and word on the street is baby boy doesn't

want Lindsay Lohan showing up at his album release party.

In the words of 50 Cent, "HAHA..daaammmmn homie!."

Oh Hell No!

Boy am I mad that I missed out on this:

According to Janet Charlton's Hollywood:

Just another wild night out with Paris Hilton. Thursday at Hyde, Paris's music producer Scott Storch hosted her and a Jenna Jameson and Brandon Davis at his booth. Paris was chugging right out of a Grey Goose vodka bottle and getting wilder by the minute- she and Jenna started pawing each other and smooching and dancing provocatively. Paris leaped to dance on the table for maximum exposure. Christina Aguilera and her dancers were at the next table (It so happens Scott Storch produced HER album too!) and when they saw Paris table dancing they leaped on their own table for a dance off. The dance contest- without benefit of a dancefloor- lasted until the girls collapsed in a sweaty heap.

I hope they doused those tables in cleaner or bleach after all was said and done. I wonder who out "danced" who? Christina and her troop from the Dirrty video or Paris and Jenna Jameson's clan. I could see it now. One group all dirrty and chiseled with multi-colored extensions and assless chaps, while the other group is all pretty in pink, scantily clad, and making out...under a black light.

For the record: Scott Storch did not produce anything on Back to Basics though he was approached. He did produce nearly a 3rd of Stripped. Yeah he and Baby Jane ain't really on good terms as previously noted. [Back to Basics has a track titled F.U.S.S. which includes the spoken line, "Guess I didn't need you/ Still got the album out"]

Bottle of Blues

I'm not gonna lie, I fucking love this asshole. He always looks dishelved or as if he just finished a handle of jack and a pack of cigarettes. And such a persona comes across on record. And we all know a few Ryan Adams'. You know, the guy with the haircut, and the jeans, and the tiny t-shirt. Thin and hip too cool to talk to you, but he will cause somehow you wound up in his circle. Lucky you.

At the same time your Ryan can be slightly emotional, somewhat vulnerable, and just damn sad. [which will, more times than not be mistakened for apathy.] Just more to love.

Word on the street is Ryan plans on releasing a mountain of cd's again this year trying everyone's patience and pocketbook, but somehow in the midst of it all he has found the time to get his Jack White on and produce an album for a country/folk legend. Be on the look out for Willie Nelson's Songbird, produced entirely by Mr. Adams himself and backed by his new pet project the Cardinals. Several of the tracks are covers [including the obligatory cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.]and are sure to be nothing short of stellar. If all goes well, it could be this year's Van Lear Rose. Stay tuned.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Hey druken frat/indie/gay/scenster/punk/regular old guy! If you thought Kelly Clarkson was to only recieve points for having one of the best singles to be released in the last five years, boy were you wrong. Check out this video where Kelly makes a bid to become your new bestfriend.

Kelly Clarkson goes wild in Hollywood!

Oops... I did it again!

Brintey Spears on baby #2:

"It just kind of happened..."


Britney Spears on pregnancy:

"I feel like I've been pregnant for 10 years!...It is now starting to get a little tiring, holding (Sean Preston), but the whole pregnancy I've done it a lot because he's very attached...It makes me feel needed and wanted, so I like it too."

Britney Spears on getting pregnant again:

"I'm going to wait a while for the next (one)!"

Britney Spears on Kevin Federline:

...

More, More, More

This just in from the folks over at What Would Tyler Durden Do. It seems Jessica Simpson was previously married to a man with less than stellar equipment below the waist. She is quoted as saying in Times Magazine:

"Nick didn't pack too well if you know what I mean, but I got over it."

And then she kept on running at the mouth about Mr. Lachey's unit this past weekend:

"Nick's small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn't really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though."

Now if she is indeed going around saying all of this then that is just wrong. I am sure Nick Lachey is biting his tongue when it comes to discussing life with Jessica Simspon because well it's nobody's business but their own. [Actually we all know Nick bites his tongue. Go back and watch an episode of Newlyweds.]

But then again I am not surprised by such comments. Jessica has a new album coming out August 29th, a week after Paris', and two weeks after Christina Aguilera's. Ashlee is getting more attention than her these days. People didn't warm up to the first single [unfortunately. I dig it.]or the star studded old school video that accompanied it. She can't snag a man and her hairdresser [who is in a relationship with a man so he's off limits]seems to be the only man in her life at the moment.

Meanwhile Nick Lachey is back in the game and doing fine. Sucks to be Jessica.

Stop (!) In the Name of Love!

Kate Moss. Pete Doherty. North London. Surprise performance in a bar. Pint of Guiness. Some cigs. Play it safe kids. Play it safe.