Another day, another post on R.Kelly.
Today's post comes from the folks over at fourfour who get extra points in my book for the following astute analysis on the musical catalogue of the one they call "the pied piper of R&B!"[and by "they" I mean Kells himself]:
* The inspiration - Kells' vaguely spiritual, wholly cloying offerings that find him at his most offensive (without even trying!); Hits of this type include: "I Believe I Can Fly" and "World's Greatest; Double Up's offering: "Rise Up," a phoned-in Virgina Tech tribute, in which Robert teaches us that "struggle has no color."
* The banger - Club tracks that prove that no matter how R. Kelly distinguishes himself from his contemporaries, he's capable of standard drivel; Hits of this type: Probably originated with his first single with the Public Announcement, 1992's new-jack "She's Got That Vibe," but really kicked into high gear with 2001's "Fiesta"; Double Up's offerings include: The title track, "Get Dirty" (with Chamillionaire), "Hook It Up" (with Huey) and "Tryin' To Get a Number" (with Nelly), which lyrically comes off as exclamation-point advocacy ("Hey!" "Uh!" and on and on!) but musically plods along like it's on ellipses
* The radio play - High-concept melodrama that's consumed with infidelity; Hits of this type: Originated with "Down Low (Nobody Has To Know)" with the Isley Brothers, but that's far too musical in retrospect -- with "Trapped in the Closet," this format adopted the sing-speak, stream-of-consciousness style of "Real Talk" (explained above); Double Up's offerings include: "Same Girl," in which Kells realizes he and Usher are banging the same Georgia Tech student, and "Best Friend," in which Kells realizes that he and Polow Da Don are both banging Keyshia Cole.
* The metaphor killer - Even higher-concept material that finds Kells choosing a subject to compare sex or a woman to and then (figuratively) masturbating -- he beats off while beating his subject into the ground; Hits of this type: Originated with "You Remind Me of Something," and carried through the original version of "Ignition"; Double Up's offerings include: "The Zoo" ("We're two monkeys, baby"), "Sweet Tooth" ("I can't wait to drink your milk, you're lookin' like like a big old piece of cake") and "Sex Planet" ("Girl, I promise this will be painless, painless / We'll take a trip to planet Uranus, anus")
* The step track - Non-banger, disco-inflected club tracks that pay homage to Kells' Chicago roots that are breezy enough to sound sublime. Hits of this type: His straightforward slow-jam remix of Aaliyah's "At Your Best" was "strictly for the steppers," per his chanting, but it wasn't until 2003's "Step in the Name of Love" that Kelly really honed his own stepping style. One half of a double album (Happy People) fully explored this territory to somewhat dull results. Still, these tracks are about the only sure-bet that Kelly has left, as evident in... Double Up's offering: "Freaky in the Club," an island-breezy feast of gentle percussion that is, without question, Double Up's strongest offering...
It's funny, cause it's true.
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