Just another sunny Winter's Day in Los Angeles. Children are laughing, dogs are barking, girls and a few gays are traveling in packs. People scurry all over the grassy knolls and cobblestone roads of this outdoor shopping center as if walking in a coherent manner that is mindful of others around them is the greatest of inconveniences. Whatever. None of this will deter me from stopping in the Gap and pretending like I got what it takes to swipe the card and wear the looks on display in the men's department of Nordstrom's. Eyes straight ahead. One foot at a time. Almost there. Almost there. Wait. What the fuck. Is that? Guy and girl. Canoodling outside of the store for all the world to see. Not PDA really. No. More like stitled morning after cuddling. In public. In the winter. For all the world to see. Girl: Large male oxford shirt, no pants, no shoes. Guy: Cut, no shirt, pajama bottomsnot on waist, right above the missle. What is going on? What is this? Why doesn't anyone object? Shield the eyes of those poor, poor unsuspecting children chasing dogs, throwing frisbees, and loving the musical fountain. Hello? Anybody? Maybe I am reading too much into this. Maybe it's all an act. Some upscale performance art improv for the masses. Strictly harmful. Wait. Where was I going? Where am I? Look up. Scan the words. Abercrombie & Fitch... Oh. I should have known. God I hate that goddamn store...
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