Artists and musicians. Such a sly bunch. If you're not careful they'll sneak some hidden agenda into a song without you even noticing, and before you know it you're taking it to the streets protesting a war, or -gasp- showing some love for the gays! But never fear, for the folks over at the Christian website Love God's Way are here to help you with their list of artists/bands who are trying to brainwash you and make you do the Y.M.C.A. down in Funkytown:
One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy."
Bands to watch out for
-The Spores
-Scissor Sisters [Okay. I get this one]
-Rufus Wainwright [See Scissor Sisters]
-Merzbau
-Ravi Shankar
-Wilco [What? How? Huh?]
-Bjork
-Tech N9ne
-Ghostface Killah [Highly unlikely]
-Bobby Conn
-Morton Subotnik
-Cole Porter [Whoa isn't this man dead? I guess you gotta reach into the vaults and make sure even your hits from back in the day don't "turn you out"]
-Eagles of Death Metal
-Polyphonic Spree [Wouldn't this Christian group be a fan of the cult-like/organized religion mentality of this band's choral affinities and matching choir like robes?]
-The Faint
-Interpol [Only on here because hipster boys are highly ambiguous/gay/down with experimentation]
-Tegan and Sara [Lesbian Twins! Oh me, oh my!]
-Erasure
-Le Tigre
-The Gossip
-The Doors [Why? Because of Jim Morrison's hair and love of leather pants?]
-Phish [Extended solos? Songs that stretch for minutes on end? Drug experimentation? All gateway activities for homosexual interactions]
-Queen
-The Strokes [See Interpol]
-Sufjan Stevens [I thought he was all about the Christianity. Is it because of those in the closet rumors? Or those Come On Feel The Illionise cheerleading promo shots?]
-Morrissey [Duh!]
-The Pet Shop Boys
-Metallica [I blame the soft spoken one with the curly black locks]
-Judas Priest
-The Village People
-The Secret Handshake [So what exactly, if you don't mind me asking, is a secret handshake?]
-The Rolling Stones [I blame David Bowie and Mick Jagger's swagger]
-David Bowie [A given, yes, thanks to his younger years, but you gotta admit, Iman is pretty hot and well, so is he at 60]
-Frankie Goes to Hollywood
-Man or Astroman [I don't know who this is, but that name looks slang for gay or straight]
-Richard Cheese
-Jay-Z [Ooh Beyonce is not going to like that one. She better put her Freakum Dress on]
-Depeche Mode
-Kansas
-Ani DiFranco [No! Get out!]
-Fischerspooner
-John Mayer [All that talk of "swimming in a big sea of blankets?" Totally gay!]
-The Indigo Girls
-Velvet Underground
But don't fear, cause there are some safe bands out there who keep it real... real traditional:
We know that it can be difficult to differentiate what is good or bad for your child. With that in mind Love God's Way has created this powerful tool to let you see some bands and entertainment that is safe for your children."
Safe Music:
-UnderOath
-Falling Up
-Flyleaf
-THE TURNING
-Disciple
-P.O.D
-By The Tree
-Scott Reed
-Michael W. Smith
-Jars of Clay
-DC Talk
I don't care what anyone says, but this "safe list" is just the line-up from some Christian Rock Coachella pamphlet they found lying around the office.
In the meantime, do your part and spread the word, and help keep this filth off the streets:
"In Our effort to keep this list up to date we'd appreciate your help. If you know of a band that is Gay or propogating a Gay message please email us so we can update. Donnie is handling this his email is: [redacted]."
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