Thursday, May 01, 2008

Press play.

FILE UNDER: New flava in ya ear!


Do it, to it!

You must, you must, you must PRESS PLAY!

  • Jackie Beat - Retouch My Body [Mariah Carey cover]


  • With lyrics:

    Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
    Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah…

    You know I’m gettin’ older
    And I’ve gained some weight, too
    In my imagination I am just 22
    I’m way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
    The fast food is to blame, cholesterol’s through the roof

    If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
    Then it’s true, that you
    Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
    tellin’ you, what to do
    'Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
    I will hunt you down
    'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
    Don’t even try it, this is my diet

    Retouch my body
    Stretch me some more
    Take off sixty pounds
    Then take off ten more
    Retouch my body
    Re-size my head
    Clean up my skin
    Please tone down the red
    Retouch my body
    Lipo my thighs
    With your computer mouse
    I’m as big as a house
    Retouch my body
    Remove every curve
    I’m goin’ to the mall to get a soft serve

    Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
    Remove a chin or two and how’s about a nose job?
    Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
    Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

    If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
    Then it’s true, that you
    Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
    or else you, will get sued
    Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin’ like a lez
    I will hunt you down
    'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
    Don’t even try it, this is my diet

    Retouch my body
    Don’t wanna look tragic
    So call In-dustrial
    Light & Magic
    Retouch my body
    Make me look lean
    Like fat-ass Oprah
    on O Magazine
    Retouch my body
    Even out my tits
    And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
    Retouch my body
    Blur it some more
    Come on and give me what I’m payin’ you for
    Retouch my body

    I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
    Make me fuckin’ young and sweet
    Get rid of my celluleet
    I don’t want no photo, boy
    I want an oil painting
    Retouch my body

    Retouch my body
    Don’t cause any trouble
    I am in denial
    Don’t ya’ burst my bubble
    Retouch my body
    Just look at Madonna
    In real life she looks like
    An ancient iguana
    Retouch my body
    And if you can of course
    Try to make me look
    Like less of a horse
    Retouch my body
    I’ve no other choice
    I only wish you could retouch my voice
    Retouch my fuckin' body!

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