Monday, January 07, 2008

"You don't know what you do..."


The ROC is definitely in the building?

DISCLAIMER: I do not, nor did I at the time, have a stick up my ass.

A guy and a girl weather the storm on a Friday night in Los Angeles. The Roxy. Some guy named AM [not to be confused with he who places a DJ in front of his moniker]. It's his birthday. And DIM MAK's hosting! No cash, no line. Just an RSVP list, some hipsters, and a headlining gig from the boys of MSTRKRFT!

SIDENOTE: I don't know who this AM fella is exactly, but he sure is some lucky sonofabitch. Shit, a nigga can't even get Tommy the Clown to come thru and celebrate the anniversary of his birth, and he gets mothafuckin' MSTRKRFT.

Arriving at 12:45 or so, this guy and girl walked into the Roxy just as the boys in the "band" began their closing b'day set. And boy was there plenty to take in/enjoy. The following words and phrases are the rants/observations of this young black male who weathered the DIM MAK hosted, MSTRKRFT soundtrack'd storm.

-First and foremost, all praise and adoration must be given to he['s] who sits on high. Yes, of course I am talking about Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo, known to you and me as DAFT PUNK. Tonight's "show" made me appreciate their recent stage show that much more. By placing themselves atop the crowd and away from the masses, the show becomes more about music, and dare I say it,DANCING(!), and less about smudging, pushing, and angling your way towards the stage just because.

-And by just because I mean hamming it up for the cameras, crowd surfing (!!!) and the like just to ensure that your face winds up on some scenster photo album the morning after.

-Cause if it hasn't been said already, it must be said now: Scenster photogs have now become an epidemic. The first thing I remember seeing on stage after taking a few sips of my eight dollar [with tip] Miller Lite, were 3 or 4 bulky ass expensive looking cameras up in the air, littering the stage. As I got closer to the stage [thank you crowd surfers. more on that later...], I had to endure a few moments in which my view of MSTRKRFT was blocked by many a photographer trying to be so more scene than the photog to his left, to his left.

-Seriously. There was a blond Bat for Lashes looking photographer, a tall Black Spank Rock looking dude clad mostly in leather, a Panda Bear looking dude [the actual animal, not that guy from Animal Collective], and countless others. Strangely enough I did not see the infamous Mark "The Cobrasnake" Hunter at all. Maybe all these photographers were his interns or something?

-Oh and before we move forward let's get back to those goddamn crowd surfers. Really? Crowd Surfing? At a MSTRKRFT show? I have truly seen it all. The only good thing about those drunk crowd surfers and their along for the ride counterparts, were the large spaces they left behind once they came down, back to life...back to reality. They landed, they fell, space opened up, you moved forward. I ain't [that] mad at cha, I guess.

-Oh and big ups on stepping all over a brotha's feets and elbowing me in the eye. AND for damn near punching my girl T-Money's lights out. Yeah those moments almost made our nights...

-Two words: STEVE AOKI.

-Seriously I could have just written a whole essay on Mr. Aoki and his antics tonight. Yes, he who neglected to follow that unspoken social code of conduct, that one must never, ever make a night that clearly isn't about them be about them. Par-Ty-Foul. Granted he was fucked up, but still.

-I mean at one point in the night, my section of the crowd up near the stage [again thank you crowd surfers] stopped moving, placing all of their attention on Mr. Aoki's bare torso as time stood still and Mr. Aoki adorned himself in a bra [yes a bra] that some random girl in the audience threw up on stage. The music may have stopped, and the house lights may have come on as the crowd stood there in a hushed silence watching this all go down, but don't hold me to that.

-Speaking of girls, kudos to the not that attractive and slightly inebriated female who got up on stage, thanks in small part to Mr. Aoki himself, only to find herself grinding away on him as he visibly wished she didn't.

-Sucks to be her though when he abruptly and harshly pushed her ass back into the crowd without warning.

-Steve, Steve, Steve, why are you throwing up the ROC? I'm not that out of it. Did someone mix in a ROC-A-FELLA track? Huh? Did I miss something? Cause you know I would have been all over that shit. Is this the 40/40 club? Where's Jay? Where's B?

-NEXT TRACK... He's throwing up the ROC again. Ugh. And it's caught on. But in the real, real, real, real, real, this shit is kind of classic. Probably the only time I'll witness a sea of Los Angeles hipsters throwing up the ROC. I on the otherhand refuse to take part in this children of the corn, cult like moment.

-Steve Aoki: Not above jumping on sound boards and other various pieces of equipment and diving into the crowd. Multiple times. A crowd that, it must be said, manages to keep him up in the air longer than previous surfers of the crowd this evening [surprise, surprise].

-Whoa, did that chick nearly faint twice right in front of me? I swear to God her knees buckled and she nearly collapsed...twice. It compelled me enough to step in, tap her friends and boyfriend, and ask if she was okay, cause clearly she was not. Homegirl and friends had a primo spot in front of the boards, so what option do you think she went with when her friends offered to leave/drink some water/sit down in the back?...

-Damn, guess we're still riding D.A.N.C.E.'s? jock huh?

-Shit let me quit playin'. After a while I was itching for something with vocals, including that D.A.N.C.E. remix. I too, soon went bananas [Or as bananas/crazy as the space and those around me would permit].

In the end though, as we all stood confused and wondered who the round man in black was standing nearing the boards, I realized that I can't really complain [turns out he was here to speak on behalf of the Fire Marshall...at 1:55 A.M. or something. Shut it down. How convenient.]. A Free MSTRKRFT show in walking distance of my girl T-Money's apt.? Not bad. Not bad at all. ROC throwing and all...

BONUS...

Here's a taste of what it all looked like:

  • THE COBRASNAKE: SHUT UP. [Photo Album]
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