Songs in the Key of Life.

FILE UNDER: A Moment of Clarity.

Three weekends ago my iPod cleared itself. Nearly 50 GBs of music, movies, and too thought out playlists in the can. It may be corrupted and down for the count. Since then I have decided to say f**k it and move on with my life, letting the initial furor over it all subside, and simply live an iPod less life for the time being. This also means that my life no longer has a daily kick ass “ignore the world and get your bump on” soundtrack, subjecting me to constant sounds of conversations I don’t want and/or need to hear, and/or random conversations I would have normally been free from had I had an iPod attached to my hip. [Yep, I was that guy] This is one such conversation.

Sunday.

10: 45 AM.

West Hollywood, CA.

Running on four to five hours of sleep. Forcing myself to get up and go home. Deal with the trappings of a post 4th of July/Saturday night out on town hangover.

Streets are desolate. Pedestrian wise that is. Sure there are a few early morning Trader Joe’s couples, and a man walking a dog or two [of course], but otherwise the foot traffic is minimal. No matter which way you look, north, east, south, west. Minimal.

Kings Rd. and La Cienga Blvd. Silence. Waiting on a light. Then Boom(!). Over the shoulder, from behind my back I hear:

“Man I wanna f**k some p***y so bad, right now!”

Me: [in my head] What the #@?

Turn to my left and all of a sudden I am standing next to a short 20 something blonde haired, blue eyed southern gentlemen looking all Abercrombie and Fitchy in a white fitted t-shirt tucked into khaki shorts with running shoes and one of those popular New Englandy tie belts or whatever. This kid is clearly from the south, and just somehow appeared out of nowhere on the streets of West Hollywood, next to me. Naturally, since it’s a well-known fact that strangers love striking up random conversations with me, I take the nice road, and carry on this “conversation”. After all, my bus stop is merely a few steps away. [Fortunately.]

HIM: Man I wanna f**k some p***y so bad right now!
ME: Well the morning is young. It’s only 10:50 in the morning. Where are you going to/coming from?
HIM: Church.
ME: Oh word?
HIM: Yeah man. Catholic. I want to find a Baptist church so bad though…MAN…I almost scored with this chick on the bus.
ME: Word?
[Cross in front of Gray Bentley driven by young hot 20 something duo. Boy/Girl]
HIM: Man she was totally checking you out.
ME: What?
HIM: Her in that car.
ME: Oh? I wasn’t even paying attention. Ha!
[Looks me up and down. Stops at my feet for a minute.]
HIM: Nice vans man.
ME: Oh thanks.
[Walk down hill puts us in an awkward walking situation. We easily go from side by side to me one or two paces or so in front of him. “Conversation” still lingers on.]
HIM: Man, yeah the church was Catholic, but I want to find a Baptist church…Man...you’re in great shape. Very nice body.
ME: Wha-..oh thanks.
HIM: Yeah no prob.
[Arrive at the crossroads. I must go my way. He’ll go his]
ME: Aight man, well good luck finding that church man.
HIM: [All smiles and southern charm. Oddly. Walks up the stairs to the CVS only to come back down and cross the street to the bus stop adjacent from mine. Says something I can’t understand because of background noises. Still smiling politely. I yearn for my iPod.]