Thursday, May 21, 2009

The State.

A Moment of Clarity.


"I can't be your Superman!"

Words.

"Stop believing you can solve your problems by electing a superhero. The skills they bring to problem-solving are different.

For example, when Spider-Man catches someone robbing a bank, he knocks the guy through an armored car. Whereas President Obama writes them a check.

Here in California, we experimented with making an action hero our leader. He was going to build roads and schools, cut taxes and balance the budget. How? Simple. Because he was a hulking man-monster who could bend lampposts and have sex with a Kennedy and live.

Five years ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger was handsome, smiling Gov. Arnold.

Now, it's Arnold as the Terminator with half a face.

Is the fiscal crisis here in California Arnold's fault? Absolutely not. This is a man who came to America with nothing but a jar of protein powder and a nice pair of 36D-cup breasts and became the biggest star in Hollywood despite never learning to speak English.

It's not Arnold's fault that California has a worse credit rating than Louisiana, a state that's half underwater and half in the bag.

You see, our state is designed to be ungovernable because we govern by ballot initiative, and we only write two kinds of them: "Spend money on things I like" and "Don't raise my taxes." More money for teachers and firefighters? Check "yes"! High-speed rail? "Cooool!" Drug treatment for former child actors? "Sure, why not?" But don't even think of taxing me for any of it.

That's not an answer! Newt Gingrich had it right when he said, "People don't elect presidents who tell them to sacrifice. They elect presidents who solve problems for them so they don't have to sacrifice."

Right, like Obama should solve global warming by working a little harder in his secret White House lab and coming up with a car that runs on seawater and emits gold doubloons. Someone who magically gives you everything and asks nothing in return? Bernie Madoff tried that plan; it didn't work.

This is why our founders wanted a representative democracy, because they knew that if you give the average guy the chance, he'll vote for a fantasy world with no taxes and free beer..."

  • LOS ANGELES TIMES: Superheroes can't save California
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