Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Silent Alarm.



Words. For Your Consideration...

"Last week, the Obama administration and Congress inched closer to striking down "don't ask, don't tell," pending a Pentagon review (due by Dec. 1) that will gauge the military's ability to sustain the changes required for the repeal. As part of that review, I experienced a rite of passage of my own: For once, the Department of Defense asked me, as a military family member, what I think — specifically about the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, via an online questionnaire. Since I've got the DOD's ear, here are my two cents — or rather, my two words — on the matter: Good riddance.

I come to this view not just as someone who married an Army intelligence officer in 2002. My closest military friend, now deployed, is a lesbian soldier. I, like her other friends in the community, show my love for her in varying degrees of plausible deniability. We get that we can never publicly mention the girlfriend — not at an Army event, on Facebook, certainly not in an e-mail sent to her AKO address. She goes to even greater lengths: no public displays of affection with her partner, constantly qualifying herself as a "confirmed bachelorette." Covering up requires a shamefully large amount of brain share — mental energy that could be better spent on her duties as a soldier.

Is she distracted by this charade? No. But she is burdened. When I dropped her off for her deployment, I said to some soldiers from her unit that I was "just doing my Army wife duty," and she quickly stressed, "But she's not my wife." DADT requires such CYA (cover your ass) measures. She is the proud soldier of a nation built on diversity's bedrock. Can't we do better than this?..."

  • LOS ANGELES TIMES: Not asking, but telling
  • No comments: