"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"
A Moment of Clarity.
You know, it's hard out here for a pimp these days. As institutional walls come crumbling down around us, many of us are left wondering, "yes, but what about me? What must I do to get by and be about mine?"
Take this cat for example, who I'm hoping is pulling everyone's leg with this advertisement.
Gawker reports:
"What I am explictly offering as part of this auction is the following - I will wear the same suit that I wore at my job interview at my ex-firm. I will meet the winner in a 100% LEGAL setting such as either at a licensed brothel in Nevada or Rhode Island, and I will spend some time having a drink with them, hanging out with them, laughing, breaking the ice, and so on.
Afterwards, I will deliver what I would consider to be the ideal blowjob / handjob combination until the winner has an orgasm or 30 minutes passes whichever comes first.
Sorry but no anal activity of any kind is part of this offer!"
Wow. Okay, 1st things 1st, let's take a minute to wax poetic about handjobs. Why, oh why is this a viable sex act for some people? I never have, and never will understand this. You don't get alone and damn near nude, hot and bothered with somebody to partake in an act where "you can do bad by your goddamn self." Yeah, I said it. Giving someone a handjob is the sexual equivalent of tying someone else's shoes. Get out of here with that shit. And 2nd, losing one's virginity involves penetration, right? Or did I miss that part in my personal copy of the Guide to Getting it On?
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