Early morning, Los Angeles or some place like it. Hillary Duff and punk rock boy-toy Joel Madden of Good Charlotte unwind in bed after a night of hanging out and partying with some friends. Joel fights the urge to get up completely as Hillary sits up against the headboard, catching up on the latest news and current events online from her laptop.
Hillary: [Screams and hits pillows startling Joel] GOD NOT AGAIN! All this talk about my virginity is so yesterday. [Pouts. Takes a sip from a caramel latte.] Damn Elle magazine. [Burps. Giggles heartily.] Sorry baby. [In what she feels is an older journalist's voice.] Hillary Duff is a virgin. I never said that! I would never say that. [Takes another sip. Attempts to speak and finish swallowing at the same time.] I mean [gulps and swallows], like, I don't know, like how did the writer get that out of what I said? [Looks over at Joel, who is still under the covers but it now facing her and trying his best to look attentive.] Why is this important? You know? Like why is that anyone's business. [Takes a sip, attempts to talk while finishing her sip] Whatever. [Gulp. Swallow. Burp. Sigh. Places laptop on the bedside table. Looks at Joel.]Now I'm all worked up. [Pauses. Looks ahead. Then back at Joel.] Wanna do it?
Joel: [Stares at Hillary. Silence. Shrugs his shoulders as if to say sure why not?]
Hillary crashes into her man and just like that, the day begins.
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