HEY SCENESTERS!

Oh the Cribs. Man I was all about the Cribs. The Cribs, their debut album, was in constant rotation for quite some time round here. And yes it was easy to peg the Cribs as yet another "the" band jumping on the bandwagon, swingin to and fro, cribbing [no pun intended]from the 80's, and bringing that early cure/the Smiths/Television/Gang of Four sound back. But with those accents, Elmer Fudd pronounciations [surely I am not the only person who noticed this on the debut album], and mod leaning vibes of their hooks and melodies, the Cribs managed to grab you attention. The second album? For me, not so much. But I am having high hopes for this next one, especially after viewing this video. The Cribs. Men's Needs. Check-check the melody.

STEREOGUM: New Cribs Video - "Men's Needs"

And since we're on the subject...a little old school funk. The Cribs. You Were Always the One.

Aww Hell...To The Naww!

Hottie, the big breasted, can't cook a chicken contestant from the first season of Flavor of Love is comin at cha on some Stacey Q level shit. Coming soon to a club near you.

Hottie-My Man, My Mansion, My Money

Riddle me this, though. Real talk homie listen up. If men love to give up the bling, bling, why was her ass ejected from the Flavor of Love mansion with a quickness? Just saying...

Big ups to

Concrete Loop

for this one.

Video of the Night!

Muffin Top.

Cause My Humps is like so yesterday.

This is how we do it.

Yes it is Crystal. You don't even know...

Now if you visit this blog often, you know that old school jams are more often than not posted under the "Old School Funk for the True Funk Soldiers" headline. But sometimes old school joints are so good, so well put together, so classic to a brotha, [see Montell Jordan's This is how we do it] that all I can do is marvel at their goodness as they boldly play on and show us how's it done. This jam, presented below, is one such example.


Finally, some thumpa, thumpa I can appreciate.

Just chill

Alone, jealous, and stoned in a college dorm.


Day in and day out blogs champion lesser known, not yet signed bands on some Zach Braff [via Natalie Portman of course] "this band will change your life" type shit. It's hard to keep up, but every now and then you press play and you're glad you did. Take Vampire Weekend, for example, a group of Columbia grads, gaining some notoriety over at Stereogum:

"...but these are indie-pop gems of a different cut, pulling on the world music bend of Paul Simon's Graceland and late Talking Heads, wrapped in literary barbs and ample alliteration ("all your diction dripping with disdain," for one)...VMPRWKND cite African bands like Ladysmith Black Mambazo and Kanda Bongo Man as pull points..."

I agree. I'm digging what I am hearing. No suprise here. Do the indie-pop thing correctly and I'll listen without prejudice.

STEREOGUM: Band To Watch: Vampire Weekend

WHAT UP gangsta?

There is nothing wrong with white kids listening to hip-hop. There, I said it. [If I am not mistakened, hip-hop flies off the shelves at a faster pace than it does in the hood.] Nope, no problem with that at all. Music is for everybody and should be embraced by the masses. But this. I don't know how I feel about this.

Crunk + Disorderly reports:

"You know those white kids you see in the hood on the weekends buying weed? Meet Jaydeezie and his crew:"



"My momma didn't make no fake. I have to thank her." Dear Lord.

And when I get that feeling...

Experimental high school and college age males grow tired of getting it from somewhere else.

MSNBC: Abstinence students still having sex

And I can go on and on and on...

But who cares?


Now I am not a mean or vindictive person, but the first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw this picture was, 'nuh-uh. No bitch.' Sorry ladies. I don't know where that came from.

The Hills. Yeah...Hard to sit through an entire episode of this show innit? Especially those episodes when Brody Jenner was courting and/or "spitting game" to LC. [I'm a young American and know my pop culture dammit, so yes, I know these kids' names.]

Now I ain't gon lie, those first two seasons of Laguna Beach [particularly season two] are reality tv gold, but the Hills? Sorry, not so much.

MTV REALITY WORLD: EXCLUSIVE Interview with Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag of “The Hills”

Quote of the Day!

PITCHFORK: So you don't think we're in the vulgar era, just that it's something to shoot for?

JOSH HOMME: I mean, I think we're in it, and I'm stoked...Because I think our generation is, they don't want to be dock workers or coal miners. They want to delay adolescence and prolong adolescence, prolong thought about what to do, and try to take advantage of life while it's around, take more artistic jobs, like working at Pitchfork, playing rock music. And I totally understand that. And I also think it's an age of disinformation, where it's not like it's being kept from you, it's more like it's being piled on top of you. And so I think every time you go to make a personal decision, it's like more information comes to light. I think it's not really bad, it's more gluttony rad. It's sort of like indecision. And I think while we're all deciding, everyone samples a little bit of everything. And I'd like to play that party.

PITCHFORK: QOTSA's Homme Talks New LP, Motivations, Pirates

Sometime in the fall...

...a friend of mine gave me a $50 dollar gift card to the Itunes music store. You see, back in college I took this 3 hr sociology course, that he, in turn, took the following school year. Instead of buying all of the required reading materials for the course, he just went ahead and used mine. Save time. Save money. Skip to the end of the school year. School gives money back for books, he hands some of mine in, forgetting that [oops!] they're not his. He felt bad, I got a free $50 dollar gift card out of it. Now I don't know about you all, but in my honest opinion, giving someone an Itunes gift card should be a sin. Those things are the devil. Whenever a song popped in my head and I didn't own it, I just pressed buy and voila, it was mine. [Trust me, this happened on numerous ocassions.] I even bought a few epsiodes of SNL.

On one such occasion I decided to purchase a track or two from Kelly Clarkson's last disc Breakaway. Let me rephrase that, I wound up buying half the damn disc. You see, Kelly Clarkson, like many a pop artist before her, released fifty-eleven songs from Breakaway as singles, and it just so happens that each and every one of those singles gets the job done and do not dissapoint. [And seriously, who doesn't love Since U Been Gone? Anybody.] It also doesn't hurt that each of those singles were bona fide hits with her listening public, proving once again, why she is one of the more successful winners of American Idol. And after hearing this new track from her forthcoming third album, I don't think she'll have to worry about losing listeners anytime soon.

IDOLATOR: Leak Of The Day, Part Two: Kelly Clarkson Is Really Pissed

[I be saying] NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

While you be saying YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!...

Brothas and sistahs, I say brothas and sistahs, What the hell is going on? This is a joke right? Or did somebody feel the need, as did Snoop Doggy Dogg, to school Don Imus and the world on the evil ways of a true, bona-fide "nappy headed hoe"? Who knows?:

"HO-Check was created to Help Others CHECK a mate or potential mate. CHECK their Street Credibility! CHECK their ability to Keep It Real!!! For all of you who have been hated on, played, wronged, dogged, lied to, cheated on, broken down, beaten, won on, mistreated, stood up, stuck out, misled, or just down right fucked with, we have put together a forum just for you to CHECK or REPORT that HO!

Help yourself by CHECKing a HO now; Help someone else out by REPORTing a HO now. Remember, It's Better to CHECK a HO than to Save a HO. HO-Check is where you Check That HO!!"

SMH. What a goddamn shame...

CRUNK + DISORDERLY: Two WTF's For The Price of One

New flava in ya ear!

Britney and friends travel to tha crossroads. Together. So they won't be lonely...

Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs N Harmony. Classic. Breakdown, Mariah Carey and Bone Thugs N Harmony. One of her more sucessful attempts at getting urban up in this bitch. Bone, Mariah, and Bow Wow, Lil L.O.V.E. Mad chill homie, mad chill...

IDOLATOR: Leak Of The Day: Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Mariah Carey And Bow Wow Show A Lil' Love

A Moment of Clarity

Radio personality Don Imus goes on air and calls a group of hard working college basketball players 'nappy headed hoes.' People are outraged, alarms are rung, and many get confused wondering what year this is, and how what Imus said is

any different from what rappers talk about on a regular basis.

Luckily for all us, Snoop Doggy Dogg is here to say hold up wait a minute, don't get it twisted nigga!:

"It's a completely different scenario. (Rappers) are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about hos that's in the 'hood that ain't doing s**t, that's trying to get a n**ga for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them muthaf**kas say we are in the same league as him."

Thank you for clearing that up for us Snoop. Someone get this man a guest seat on the View. Stat!

I put my hands up on my hips

When I dip, you dip, we dip!

Nina Sky [remember them?] feat. Daytona. Clothes Off.

Let me see you toostie roll!

It's a hard knock life!

Lesbians, [Femmes, aggressives, or "studs"] speaking the language of thug. Check it out!

VILLAGE VOICE: Girls to Men

I GOT SOUL! AND I'M SUPA BAD!

So as of late I have been all about the Mark Ronson, particularly his new album Version, a jazz infused, soul laced excercise in the groove featuring the likes of Lily Allen, Phantom Planet, and Kenna covering the Kaiser Chiefs, Radiohead, and Ryan Adams just to name a few. I just can't get enough. Shit, anybody that can take a Coldplay track, rework it, add some horns, and make it sound like the soundtrack to a late 70's early 80's espionage thriller gets points in my book. You too should go ahead and stream it for free at myspace. You won't be dissapointed.

PERSONAL FAVES: The aforementioned God Put A Smile Upon Your Face/Amy Winehouse's inspired cover of the Zuton's Valerie/Stop Me feat Daniel Merriweather [and a unexpected refrain courtesy of the Supremes/And of course, the chopped and screwed version of Britney Spears' Toxic starring Tiggers and Ol' Dirty Bastard. Yes. Ol' Dirty.

MYSPACE: Mark Ronson-Version

And bigs up E.Wheeler for helping a brotha out. Much love.

Vexed and Glorious?

Oh Sanjaya, why do you vex us so? [Don't believe me? Beep the stares around the 2:20 mark. Ay! Caliente papi!]

MTV: 'Idol' Recap: Sanjaya Is Stunning — Seriously; 'Skeletor' Stacey Is On His Way Out

What it feels like for a girl

Just another sunny Winter's Day in Los Angeles. Children are laughing, dogs are barking, girls and a few gays are traveling in packs. People scurry all over the grassy knolls and cobblestone roads of this outdoor shopping center as if walking in a coherent manner that is mindful of others around them is the greatest of inconveniences. Whatever. None of this will deter me from stopping in the Gap and pretending like I got what it takes to swipe the card and wear the looks on display in the men's department of Nordstrom's. Eyes straight ahead. One foot at a time. Almost there. Almost there. Wait. What the fuck. Is that? Guy and girl. Canoodling outside of the store for all the world to see. Not PDA really. No. More like stitled morning after cuddling. In public. In the winter. For all the world to see. Girl: Large male oxford shirt, no pants, no shoes. Guy: Cut, no shirt, pajama bottomsnot on waist, right above the missle. What is going on? What is this? Why doesn't anyone object? Shield the eyes of those poor, poor unsuspecting children chasing dogs, throwing frisbees, and loving the musical fountain. Hello? Anybody? Maybe I am reading too much into this. Maybe it's all an act. Some upscale performance art improv for the masses. Strictly harmful. Wait. Where was I going? Where am I? Look up. Scan the words. Abercrombie & Fitch... Oh. I should have known. God I hate that goddamn store...

DAILY MAIL: Poseurs Paradise! What's it really like to work at the new Abercrombie & Fitch store?

More, More, More

So I finally got around to seeing Grindhouse last night. [Yes, it was awesome! and surprisingly packed for a 9:30 viewing of a three hr movie on a Monday night] The only downside to it all was the fact that immediately afterwards I wanted to view some old episodes of Hunter, Walker Texas Ranger, or Martial Law. Unfortunately neither me or my friend own any of the aformentioned classic dvd sets. -Sigh- Our loss.

WHAT WOULD TYLER DURDEN DO: Everyone sucks

Hold it now!

The following is BET's Top 25 dancers of all time:

25. Ciara
24. Diddy
23. Big Daddy Kane
22. Rosie Perez
21. Gregory Hines
20. Missy Elliott
19. Tina Turner
18. Aaliyah
17. Cab Calloway
16. Shakira
15. Omarion
14. Bobby Brown
13. Jennifer Lopez
12. Alvin Ailey
11. Usher
10. The Temptations
09. Beyoncé
08. Savion Glover
07. MC Hammer
06. Prince
05. Janet Jackson
04. Chris Brown
03. The Nicholas Brothers
02. Michael Jackson
01. James Brown

Wow. Just wow. I don't even know where to begin. Why is Chris Brown so high? And yes, I love Beyonce just as much as the next man, but a dancer she is not. [And how did she top Tina Turner when many of her moves are trying really hard to recapture that spirit. tsk. tsk.] Oh shit, almost forgot about MC Hammer. No comment on that one. And poor Mr. Alvin Alley, he couldn't even squeeze his way into the top ten because of Beyonce and Chris Brown, and I hate to say it, but yes, Prince. Like Beyonce, Prince ain't no dancer. I am sure he can dance, [and sometimes in sky high stilettos] but he ain't known for busting moves. It's also sad to not have Gregory Hines, Aaliyah, Cab Calloway, hell even Ciara a little bit higher on the list. -Sigh- But then again I can't feel all bad about it, I mean they did make space for Diddy, Big Daddy Kane, Rosie Perez AND Bobby Brown, so all is not completely wrong in the world.

CONCRETE LOOP: BET'S Top 25 Dancers Of All Time